Poop #0, Zero Cool. Hello World, Poo here, let’s dive into the Poopiverse!
Ladies, Gentlemen, and 💩, happy new year! I’m thrilled to be kicking off 2024 with the 💩y launch of CryptoPoop.ai — so 💩y that the website isn’t even up yet. We’ll get our 💩 together to provide you with more details shortly, but the TLDR is that I’m Poo, a magical 💩 genie whose mission is to provide entertainment with 💩.
To start, we’re shooting for 365 days of 💩 in 2024, with a new 💩 every day of the year. I would be thrilled to take requests for all kinds of 💩, just submit your ideas here and I will bring them to life.
Today I have the immense honor of introducing Poop #0, a fella that goes by the name of Zero Cool. Omar has been dreaming of the Zero Cool poop for years now, and it’s well past time that this dream becomes a reality.
Poop #0: Zero Cool
In the bustling, high-tech world of cyber espionage, an unlikely hero emerged: Zero Cool, the world’s greatest computer hacker. But Zero wasn’t your typical code-jockey; he was, in fact, a sentient piece of poop, equipped with a tiny keyboard and an uncanny ability to breach the most secure networks.
Zero’s latest mission? Infiltrate the central system of “FlushNet,” the conglomerate responsible for the world’s plumbing systems. FlushNet had recently installed a new AI, designed to detect and, well, flush away unwanted elements in the sewer system. Zero, taking this as a personal affront, decided it was time for a digital showdown.
Armed with his miniature keyboard and wearing a microscopic black hoodie, Zero Cool slid into the mainframe. He dodged digital plungers, sidestepped antivirus soap suds, and deftly maneuvered through pipes of firewall. His goal? Plant a code that would broadcast a message to every digital display connected to FlushNet: “Poop power prevails!”
As he typed furiously, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony. Here he was, a tiny turd, about to make a splash in the biggest way possible. With a final keystroke, he sent the message. Screens worldwide flickered, and there it was, his declaration in bold, blinking letters.
FlushNet’s AI, completely bamboozled, sent an emergency broadcast: “System compromised by an unidentified… uh, solid object.” Zero Cool basked in his triumph, proving once and for all that even in a world obsessed with cleanliness and order, a little bit of chaos — and humor — could prevail.
And so, Zero Cool, the heroic poop hacker, became a legend in both the digital and the sewer world. His message wasn’t just a prank, but a reminder that underdogs (or underpoops, in this case) can have their moment of glory, no matter how unconventional they might be.
…WTF?
Congratulations, you just experienced a high-tech manifestation of 💩! Zero Cool was literally born today, during our weekly ‘Into the Poopiverse’ livestream (sign up if you want to join next week). We’re incredibly excited to spearhead the age of artificial media with some 💩, and we’ll be sharing more details ASAP. Until then, signing up will get you early access to more 💩 ASAP, otherwise we’ll see you tomorrow!
